Cults, Acceptance and Approval

Young Mormon men must spend two years in a foreign location,
doing door to door missionary work in order to be accepted
as full members of their church.

Andrew Farley recently published a book called the Naked Gospel. I met with friends over breakfast today, and we wrestled with Farleys' message, the difference between working for God in order to earn his approval and learning that we can't earn his approval because in Christ we are accepted. Although we don't always embrace the simplicity of life in Christ, we are made clean, stamped with the God's approval like a side of USDA Grade A beef cleared for the grocery store shelves. Farley talks candidly about how early in his Christian life, he worked tirelessly, at times not allowing himself sleep before he “witnessed to someone.” Those of us who are motivated by a strong will, (or a damaged self image) can testify - this kind of life isn't what Jesus calls us to. We mistakenly try to earn our way into God's favor.

I am so glad that our salvation is free, unearned and unearn-able. The thief on the cross, in the last minutes of his life, received the same salvation I enjoy.

Like Farley, I had to personally grow through the same re-clarification of what was the real gospel, and what I expected reality to be. The first 6-8 years of my Christian walk were built on a sandy foundation of works-based acceptance. Because of my personal insecurity, and driven personality, I was convinced I had to earn god's acceptance. I was bound and determined to do just that, even if it killed me.

At the Honor Academy, I watched my son learn to navigate between these two powerful ideas. On one hand he desperately wanted to have a genuine, deep relationship with God. We are made for that relationship, and without it, we are only shells of who we are created to be. On the other hand, he desired to be accepted, and feel that he belonged to and was accepted and approved by his new friends, fellow interns and staff. This desire to belong significantly influences young adults, who are forging their identity in the world. If a young person feels on the outside, unaccepted, they can be devastated. That kind of emotional damage can take years or decades to sort out. I speak from personal experience.

Teen years are filled with this kind of uncertainty and insecurity. It's just part of the territory. And depending on the person, stepping into a highly task oriented environment like the Honor Academy can cause the dividing lines between these two messages to get blurred. When I have a lot to do, and a lot is expected of me, the expectation to perform can bleed over into whether or not I am approved, valued, and valuable. When the dividing lines between these messages are blurred in a religious setting, volunteers and young Christians can accept an unintended lie (from Hell) that they are only valuable to God when they produce, when they complete the to do list, or hit the goals imposed on them by those in authority. This kind of conditional acceptance stamped creates an image that the person isn't USDA Grade A material, but somehow less than others, fit only to be ground up and sold as hamburger.

In a cult, self focused and most often self-absorbed, insecure leaders use this kind of conditional acceptance to control and manipulate their flock. Adhering to the teachings of “Prophet” or “Apostle So-and-So” is the only way to be “really” right with God. If you study cults, such as The Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon Church, Scientology or the defunct Children of God, or The Way International, their message was the same. It followed this logical progression.

• We have a code of conduct that you have to follow to be members.
• We also have an inside track on God's truth.
• Only those who follow our rules are part of the group
• Therefore, only those who follow are approved, and have a valuable place in our group
• Therefore we are God's “true” followers, part the exclusive club, members in His kingdom.

Although a lot is expected of the Honor Academy interns, this is not the message they are taught, directly or indirectly. I watched my son grow personally and spiritually from the expectations placed on him. He also learned the relationship between work, and reward. All these lessons took place within the safe envelope of acceptance, and the unconditional love of God.