Forgiveness Means I Give up the Right . . .

I found this on the Catalyst Catalystspace blog. Those of us who've been hurt by church leaders at one time or another aren't alone. (Catalyst is an organization of young pastors which trains and raises up young leaders to influence the church toward greater levels of holiness and cultural influence.)

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Moving Past Church Hurts Means Having a Different Conversation

By Lisa Whittle

If I had a dollar for every person who told me they were hurt by the church, I'd be writing this post on a much newer MAC.

This we know: imperfect people reside in corporate worship spaces. And since they do, imperfect things go down inside them.

It heartens me to see a surge of pastors and ministry leaders who desire to do it better - to love better, lead better, BE better. But even with this forward movement, the church will still be flawed. Therefore, we will never completely eliminate the issue.

It is why I'm interested in having a different conversation. I've grown a bit weary of talking about why we hurt each other in the body of Christ, as if our humanity is not reason enough. Instead, I want to shift our energy and effort to a conversation that is more productive: becoming better ourselves, and helping the church wounded be restored, again, after being hurt.

The truth is, we have stepped over the carnage long enough. The gifts of many hurt by the church lie wasted, and seeing them restored and used is a most worthy cause.

My heart for this conversation stems from my own experience of having a mega-church pastor-father who became embroiled in a scandal that resulted in his lost pulpit. Those who know this story and how much I love the church despite my past grapplings, often ask: "How did you move past your hurt to love the church, again?"

Testimonies from ATF Weekends

You know, there's not much I can say that make more of an impact than the words of those who'se lives are changed through the work of Teen Mania and the ATF events.  Here's a trailer from the recent ATF weekend in Nashville. This is why I'm proud to walk along side Teen Mania and the Honor Academy.

You Mean that the Secular Media has an Agenda?

 

 I write here because so many parents are appalled at what they saw on a recent MSNBC “documentary.”

My four children’s experience at HA span from 2000-2008. Four separate years, four separate experiences. They are flourishing, sifted the good out of the HA experience and have grown in everyway. I have seen nothing but good in their experience as a result. Were there times as a parent where I didnt feel comfortable with what I heard. Sure. Did I express this from time to time over the years to Mr Hasz. Yes. Did I get a reply. Yes, personally. Were there changes made to something because I expressed concern. Yes. Was everything perfect in the years my children attended. No.

In general though from a parent’s position I found each child’s experience to differ more from the DORM and CAMPUS chat that from the Teachers, Administrators or Counselors.

When one is running a campus where it becomes a MELTING POT of CHRISTIAN TRADITIONS and UNDERSTANDINGS and all of those kids land in there at one time… wow.. are there some interesting talks and discussions and differences between the ways each child might understand healing,or dating or modesty issues or a myriad of things.

When the phone calls came home where there was some confusion about something that was said it inevitably boiled down to someone who said something at the dorm OR all the kids on campus are saying THIS and what do You think.

Like all campuses I believe that if there was a problem it tended to boil down to the common denominator of who was attending and how they were responding.

As a past teacher, and every teacher knows this, a child’s classroom experience can VASTLY differ depending on the kids in the class that year. Sometimes it is a Toxic Mix, sometimes the Classroom from Heaven. So this kind of situation comes up in public schools, highschools and on campuses of all kinds.
I pray that those alumni who feel damaged look carefully at where the damage actually may have occured. There still is freedom of speech in this country and there is always the freedom to debate and express different christian worldviews, which are widely divergent, at the Honor Academy. Sometimes it is just a microchosm of the Body of Christ… and unfortunately differing views there have damaged many, which is WRONG.

Overall I have seen strong growth and a leadership potential developed in all four of my children and MANY graduates I have known.

As parents we HIGHLY recommend the HA experience to those who feel called to it.

Sue Watts
Parent of Four Alumni

Honor Academy Parents Share Why They Hope All 10 of Their Children Attend the HA

HA Director Heath Stoner recently had the oppor­tu­nity to inter­view Eric and Stacy Pratt about how they have seen God use the HA to impact their son’s lives. They also shared how they hope all 10 of their chil­dren attend the Honor Acad­emy (They have 11 chil­dren, but their old­est is already mar­ried). Please watch to hear from a par­ents perspective:

External Structure or Authoritarian Abuse?

Dr. Henry Cloud, a world class author, psychologist, and speaker at the 2011 Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit (GLS) writes about the necessity of exterior structure when pursuing personal change. During his session at the GLS, he explained how our minds create a hard-wired neural map when we develop habits. According to Cloud, our brain cells and brain chemistry physiologically create preferred pathways for thoughts and feelings that support our most frequently used, and most cherished habits. For the reason, according to Dr. Cloud, creating habits takes time and changing habits takes even longer.

One of my favorite reality shows illustrates this truth for 16 weeks, twice a year. The Biggest Loser follows 16 morbidly obese individuals through a life changing boot camp. They are challenged to change their lifestyle, eating habits and personal choices. They often have to confront emotional wounds that have helped create or reinforce their overweight lifestyle. As a result, contestants stagger upward along a difficult path toward a new life and become a physically fit, athletic person. The changes they achieve are astounding, and I am inspired by every episode.

In addition to changing that they eat, the Biggest Loser world class trainers invade their teams members' personal space - yelling, challenging, confronting - sometimes encouraging and all the time demanding that the contestants do new things – regardless of how they feel, or how much they whine and complain. Once the contestants begin to see the change in themselves, a light switch goes off. Trainers yell less and encourage more. The neural paths Dr. Cloud writes about are broken, and the external structure become internal desire. Contestants form new neural maps and are physically and emotionally transformed.

Real, lasting transformation takes time, energy and often periods of external structure. I watched my son face this challenging growth curve during his time on the Honor Academy campus, and am glad that he received the structure and push that he needed to obey the Apostle Paul's words: “Present your bodies a living sacrifice . . . Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind . . .”(Rom 12.1-2). I'm glad that an organization like the Honor Academy hasn't bowed to the world's ideas that real discipleship can be brought about by being friends, having great relationships, and simply loving others along a spiritual growth curve. Sometime it takes a crisis. Sometimes it takes a friend not willing to let you compromise yourself any more. Like Cloud and The Biggest Loser trainers know, sometimes it takes someone who invades your space – and demands you push yourself past self imposed limits to find a new revelation of God's love and resources.

Jesus used this same approach now and then. I read in the Gospels that one night Jesus sent his disciples across the Sea of Galilee in a small fishing boat – directly into the path of an oncoming storm. The writer records that Jesus stayed on the hill overlooking the turbulent waters as his friend struggled against the wind for half the night. Would a friend do this? Yes, a real Friend will allow and even create a crisis before stepping in with a solution. Sometimes it takes the crisis for me to realize I have to change, that I have to obey God if I want to be in a place where He can work in and through my life.

For those who would call this leadership style abusive, or fault the Honor Academy for pushing their interns spiritually, physically, emotionally and relationally, I wonder what they are holding onto that they don't see the Jesus of the Bible - Savior, Healer, Friend and Lord.