My four children’s experience at HA span from 2000-2008. Four separate years, four separate experiences. They are flourishing, sifted the good out of the HA experience and have grown in everyway. I have seen nothing but good in their experience as a result. Were there times as a parent where I didnt feel comfortable with what I heard. Sure. Did I express this from time to time over the years to Mr Hasz. Yes. Did I get a reply. Yes, personally. Were there changes made to something because I expressed concern. Yes. Was everything perfect in the years my children attended. No.
In general though from a parent’s position I found each child’s experience to differ more from the DORM and CAMPUS chat that from the Teachers, Administrators or Counselors.
When one is running a campus where it becomes a MELTING POT of CHRISTIAN TRADITIONS and UNDERSTANDINGS and all of those kids land in there at one time… wow.. are there some interesting talks and discussions and differences between the ways each child might understand healing,or dating or modesty issues or a myriad of things.
When the phone calls came home where there was some confusion about something that was said it inevitably boiled down to someone who said something at the dorm OR all the kids on campus are saying THIS and what do You think.
Like all campuses I believe that if there was a problem it tended to boil down to the common denominator of who was attending and how they were responding.
As a past teacher, and every teacher knows this, a child’s classroom experience can VASTLY differ depending on the kids in the class that year. Sometimes it is a Toxic Mix, sometimes the Classroom from Heaven. So this kind of situation comes up in public schools, highschools and on campuses of all kinds.
I pray that those alumni who feel damaged look carefully at where the damage actually may have occured. There still is freedom of speech in this country and there is always the freedom to debate and express different christian worldviews, which are widely divergent, at the Honor Academy. Sometimes it is just a microchosm of the Body of Christ… and unfortunately differing views there have damaged many, which is WRONG.
Overall I have seen strong growth and a leadership potential developed in all four of my children and MANY graduates I have known.
As parents we HIGHLY recommend the HA experience to those who feel called to it.
Sue Watts
Parent of Four Alumni
Sue,
ReplyDeleteThe documentary film makers are smart, educated people. Generally speaking, documentary film makers aren't biased or agenda based. They do tend to give voice to those who've been silenced by bullying or who may not have the money or power to get magazines (like Christian Post) to interview them.
After reading your post, it sounds like your children had plenty of bad experiences that you may be overlooking. I hope not, but that sounds like the case. I'm glad Dave listened to you, but weren't you paying his bills? Just a thought.
Lisa
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DeleteWow, Lisa, I'm surprised you can actually write this. MSNBC and it's parent companies have had an anti-faith bias for decades. And documentary film maker's education doesn't change their motives, they get an eduction aso they can pursue and amplifies their motives to have an impact on the world. Look at recent Michael Moore's "fact filled" documentaries. Or Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth sham of a film. Truth and helping the downtrodden were the last things they wanted to create.
DeleteFilm makers and media outlets have an agenda - they want to influence the world in the direction of their values and their world view. They have the same agenda Christians have. We also want to influence the world in the direction of our values and world view.
Here is the problem. MSNBC and secular outlets are man centered, humanistic, and as such anti-faith and anti-God. As such they are willing to jump on the band wagon of anyone who says anything against God's family. Using a secular media outlet to attack the reputation of a church or ministry is about the same as if the apostles would have gone to the Scribes and Pharisees and asked them to write the gospels. The goals of the two groups are incompatible; they serve two different kingdoms.
I'm reading Ps 1 this month, and I'm challenged by the advice: Don't sit in the seat of the scornful, stand in the path of the sinners, or follow the advice of the wicked. In other words don't hang out with, get support from, or give your support to those who are opposed to God's people and his kingdom. Going to MSNBC and inviting them to denigrate HA or any church or ministry is doing exactly the opposite of God's instructions to his people in this Psalm.
As one of the hurt alumni, and recent alumni at that, I would like to address your recommendation to put blame where it is due. My main and biggest issues with the honor academy and teen mania are because of the leadership. One of the main reasons I left was because of one of the directors there. Did I have issues with interns in the dorms? Yes. In one situation, I almost left the Christian faith over a dichotomy between two individuals. I had issues with other interns for various reasons, but they were not the reason for my hurt. They were not the reason for my abuse.
ReplyDeleteIf you read the stories of those hurt on the RA blog, you will see that it wasn't peers that gave us issues, but leadership. There is a pattern here. To dismiss our hurt as if we didn't agree with our roommate on transubstantiation is very hurtful and offensive to me.
Sean:
DeleteSuffering injustice within the family of God is one of the most difficult tests that we can face. But it's a test. David faced it, Joseph faced it. Even Jesus was crucified because of injustice. When you suffer injustice, it's easy to blame, accuse, and like a puppy that's been hit on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, slink away carrying your hurt feelings like a trophy. But God calls us to act differently.
I recently had a situation in my church where members of my leadership team and I had a significant disagreement. As a result I stepped down out of a position I felt called to pursue. I was hurt. I wanted to turn tail, blame them, and just go do my own thing. But God calls me to act differently too.
Instead, I talked with another pastor, dealt with my wounded emotions, and continued to pursue a positive, Christ centered relationship with the others who asked me to step down. Today, we meet weekly for bible study, and are back to challenging each other to continue growing in our faith.
If you were wounded by leaders at HA, and I'm not saying it doesn't happen. But if you were, pick up the phone. Connect with Dave, Ron, or the appropriate person. In the middle of his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught that if we are coming to worship or pray, and we think of someone we have an issue with, we should lay down our offering, and go and try to work things out. It's our responsibility, mine and yours, to reach out when we've been offended. It takes courage, humility, and a willingness to face your fear of rejection along with a willingness to forgive. But on the other side of the risk is an out-pouring of grace that comes from obeying God.
The option is that you let an emotional wound fester into unforgiveness, and then grow into sour, faith destroying bitterness. And the bitterness pollutes everyone it touches.
Hey Sean,
DeleteI'm currently working for Honor Academy right now and I would love to connect with you and get you connected to Mr. Stoner so we could please hear your feedback and your heart.
We don't ever want an intern to come through the Honor Academy and be hurt and your feedback is invaluable to us. Seriously. We love to hear it and it is important to us.
If anything, we would at least love to hear from you and pray for you and do anything we can to help. Please email me at matthew.tibbetts@teenmania.org or you're welcome to email Mr. Stoner at heath.stoner@teenmania.org.
If you'd rather call, then you're welcome to phone me at 903-324-7451 and I'd love to connect with you. (That's my direct line).
With Love in Christ,
Matt
Tim, your reply has nothing to do with my comment. I was explaing the fallacy of this post.
ReplyDeleteI'll respond to your comment anyway. I have seen the response and the "apology" that comes with confronting the leaders at the HA. I've also seen the same with just about every evangelical pastor I've come across. I will have no part in it. It's fruitless and more hurt comes from it. If I were to see a different response in my friends' confrontations, then maybe I will contact Dave and the other leaders.
To continue with your infected wound metaphor, it would be nice if I had an "apology antiseptic." I don't see that happening. I admit that I am bitter. I admit that this bitterness destroyed my faith. I hold the ha leadership responsible because they are the reason I'm bitter. They caused the wound and prefer to do nothing about it.
Sean:
DeleteMy reply was right on target. I thought long about publishing your reply, but decided to be vulnerable, and try to connect w/ you. I'm not saying your hurt isn't real, or that what you're feeling is your fault. Nope, not at all.
What I'm saying that what you or I do when we are hurt, misunderstood, or suffer under any person in authority . . . what we do with that experience is our choice, not the choice or fault of the leader who hurt us. Check out the post I put up on the blog today. I'm not the only one saying this, and The Honor Academy isn't the only place where church leaders struggle with their own blind spots. We are imperfect humans trying to lead imperfect people toward an idealistic goal. The church is a perfect storm for personal struggle - but struggle is part of the journey.
Injustice happens to many believers, and leaders struggle with their own humanness when it happens. But for you and I, the question is what we do with that experience. Our response shapes our future, and our faith (as you're finding out). Our response is ultimately our responsibility.