When I was a child, I spoke as a child . . .

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; 

 

the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; 

the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise”

Canadian Poet, Alden Nowlan

Salvation is Free, but . . .

Interns at the Week of the Ring Celebration Dinner

I am writing this series of posts in response to a wounded group of former HA interns that assert the Honor Academy is a cult. Like Absalom who hired a group of young men to run before his chariot and proclaim his importance (2 Sam 15.1-3), they've also found supporters to bolster their claims. They claim that HA's leaders use coercion, emotional abuse, conditional acceptance and a twisted gospel message to corral and control the Interns each year. They were wounded during their time on the Teen Mania Ranch, and unwilling to address their pain, they choose to attack what they believe is the source of their perceived lack of value.

Deep in our souls is the desire to be accepted, and its written into our souls to draw us into redemptive community, and into relationship with our Creator. When mankind fell, that desire became an inescapable force, a black hole around which the human race orbits for all time. Some surrender to the pull, get pulled into the vortex of Christ's love. They find life, real Life. Others fight God's pull all there lives, and become bitter and broken, shells of broken space junk stuck in an orbit that is neither fruitful nor eternally fulfilling. At the core of the struggle is this pull between acceptance and approval. The world tells me that I am only valued when I produce, or fit in. God's kingdom is exactly the opposite. We are valued because of Who made us. We bear his image, and as his child I am free to work and build the kingdom in the image of His Son placed deep in my soul.

Yet we lose our bearings if the lines between these two messages get blurred. It's dangerous to set a young adult on fire with a message of “you are accepted, approved and valuable only when you complete this list of stuff.” True cults are built on this message. They invariably leave a trail of emotional and spiritual wreckage in their wake.

Mixing these two messages is like giving a young adult his first case of beer and keys to the family car on a Friday night. The combination will eventually end in disaster. Maybe not the first time . . . maybe not with every drinking driver. But we've seen the cars , news broadcasts . . . and the bodies. A foreseeable future arrives, and lives are never the same when drinking and driving lead to tragic results.

The Recovering Alumni bloggers have accepted this lie, that approval and acceptance are intertwined with accomplishment, and they accuse the Honor Academy leaders for teaching them. Yet this twisted, emotionally harmful culture is not taught or lived at Teen Mania. I watched my son face his failures, struggle with personal habits, and choose to follow Teen Mania's strict personal standards. He learned that he is accepted, regardless of his performance. At the same time, he was given tools that when used, bring about spiritual transformation and personal growth in God's kingdom.

The farmer who plants the seeds can't take credit for the fruit at harvest. God caused the growth. But he directly affects how fruitful his harvest become by the things that he does. This is the message my son learned at the Honor Academy, and what I believe is the message of the gospel. Salvation is free and God's acceptance is unconditional. This is the message of the gospel, and taught the Honor Academy. Personal discipleship and fruitfulness require a high personal cost. This is the lifestyle learned by interns through example, high standards, and the encouraging expectations placed on them by the HA staff.

Acceptance, Approval and Eternal Security

My last post began to investigate the difference between conditional acceptance, how cults use this force to control their flock, and the unconditional love of God. This destructive train of thought crashes headlong into the Unmovable, unchanging gospel. Yet this message is subtly present in many highly task oriented organizations, including some mainline churches across the country. The message evolves something like this.

• God's goodness gives birth to revival, and deep levels of spiritual life.
• Then we build rules, guidelines, principles that everyone in the group follows that helped bring about the revived spiritual fervor.
• We think that the rules will guarantee the relationship and the enhanced outcome, and continue spiritual vibrancy, and it never does.
• We eventually learn our focus should be, and must remain on Christ. He is life, He is truth, He is the source of our salvation, and He unconditionally accepts us.
• His acceptance, love and live in us is the fertile ground from which good works and christian activity grow.
• We bear continued fruit, and experience the spiritual fervor because we are planted, accepted, grafted into the Vine, not in order to become part of the Vine.

Another part of the problem with this belief system is that, like every lie that ascends from Hell's sulphury depths, there is a grain of truth hidden within it. A church crosses the line into cult-hood when they twist this truth to suit their own purposes.

We are called to a life of stewardship, in which we will be rewarded based on our performance. Jesus told a number of parables about how those who are faithful with their gifts, talents and resources will be rewarded, and those who are not will be eternally punished. He spoke of gardens, harvest, and working the ground. Those who heard him were farmers, shepherds and fishermen, and they understood the implications better than we do. A gardener knows that he must work his ground, keep it watered, weeded and tilled. When he does so, he will have a more bountiful harvest than the man who plants his seeds and then ignores them. The Parable of the 10 Virgins even suggests that as we wait for our Savior return, if we don't prepare well and our flame (faith) grows dim, we will be excluded from the feast. (Matt 25.1ff) Our entry into heaven, even after leaving the world and setting out to wait for our bridegroom, can be put at risk by our own decisions.

Yet this does not affect our value, and the approval God stamps on our foreheads with the stamp of his Son's blood. We are eternally secure in his acceptance, approval and love, and nothing I can do, or anyone else can do, can ever separate me from the Love of Christ. (Rom 8.28ff) Communicating this message while at the same time teaching young people that God has a plan for them, and it will require some hard work to walk in that plan can be a delicate balancing act. I can understand how some of the bloggers at the Recovering Alumni may have missed the message, and accepted the lie Satan tries to use to confuse God's children. I never attended the Honor Academy, neither did author Andrew Farley, or a few of friends who are successful ministers. Yet at one time we all struggled with perceiving God's unconditional acceptance as we began our Christian walks. It's a lesson all Christians must learn.

Cults, Acceptance and Approval

Young Mormon men must spend two years in a foreign location,
doing door to door missionary work in order to be accepted
as full members of their church.

Andrew Farley recently published a book called the Naked Gospel. I met with friends over breakfast today, and we wrestled with Farleys' message, the difference between working for God in order to earn his approval and learning that we can't earn his approval because in Christ we are accepted. Although we don't always embrace the simplicity of life in Christ, we are made clean, stamped with the God's approval like a side of USDA Grade A beef cleared for the grocery store shelves. Farley talks candidly about how early in his Christian life, he worked tirelessly, at times not allowing himself sleep before he “witnessed to someone.” Those of us who are motivated by a strong will, (or a damaged self image) can testify - this kind of life isn't what Jesus calls us to. We mistakenly try to earn our way into God's favor.

I am so glad that our salvation is free, unearned and unearn-able. The thief on the cross, in the last minutes of his life, received the same salvation I enjoy.

Like Farley, I had to personally grow through the same re-clarification of what was the real gospel, and what I expected reality to be. The first 6-8 years of my Christian walk were built on a sandy foundation of works-based acceptance. Because of my personal insecurity, and driven personality, I was convinced I had to earn god's acceptance. I was bound and determined to do just that, even if it killed me.

At the Honor Academy, I watched my son learn to navigate between these two powerful ideas. On one hand he desperately wanted to have a genuine, deep relationship with God. We are made for that relationship, and without it, we are only shells of who we are created to be. On the other hand, he desired to be accepted, and feel that he belonged to and was accepted and approved by his new friends, fellow interns and staff. This desire to belong significantly influences young adults, who are forging their identity in the world. If a young person feels on the outside, unaccepted, they can be devastated. That kind of emotional damage can take years or decades to sort out. I speak from personal experience.

Teen years are filled with this kind of uncertainty and insecurity. It's just part of the territory. And depending on the person, stepping into a highly task oriented environment like the Honor Academy can cause the dividing lines between these two messages to get blurred. When I have a lot to do, and a lot is expected of me, the expectation to perform can bleed over into whether or not I am approved, valued, and valuable. When the dividing lines between these messages are blurred in a religious setting, volunteers and young Christians can accept an unintended lie (from Hell) that they are only valuable to God when they produce, when they complete the to do list, or hit the goals imposed on them by those in authority. This kind of conditional acceptance stamped creates an image that the person isn't USDA Grade A material, but somehow less than others, fit only to be ground up and sold as hamburger.

In a cult, self focused and most often self-absorbed, insecure leaders use this kind of conditional acceptance to control and manipulate their flock. Adhering to the teachings of “Prophet” or “Apostle So-and-So” is the only way to be “really” right with God. If you study cults, such as The Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon Church, Scientology or the defunct Children of God, or The Way International, their message was the same. It followed this logical progression.

• We have a code of conduct that you have to follow to be members.
• We also have an inside track on God's truth.
• Only those who follow our rules are part of the group
• Therefore, only those who follow are approved, and have a valuable place in our group
• Therefore we are God's “true” followers, part the exclusive club, members in His kingdom.

Although a lot is expected of the Honor Academy interns, this is not the message they are taught, directly or indirectly. I watched my son grow personally and spiritually from the expectations placed on him. He also learned the relationship between work, and reward. All these lessons took place within the safe envelope of acceptance, and the unconditional love of God.

Feet and Seats

I visited my son Ben at Teen Mania's Honor Academy during the Week of the Ring Celebration, and got to attend an early morning class with him. That morning Ron Luce taught on marriage, and gave the kids some excellent, biblical guidelines for picking a mate later in life. Looking back at my years as a young believer, I wish I had heard Ron's teaching from that morning before I picked my wife. I might have made a wiser decision, and spent more time preparing for marriage rather than just jumping in.

But I digress.

Sitting in the large all purpose meeting room that is used for morning classes, afternoon chapel, and special occasions, Ron was no more than 5 minutes into his lecture notes when he shouted “Feet.”

Instantly all the interns shuffled to their feet, and patiently waited for Ron to give them permission to sit back down. “Seats,” he said after a dozen or so seconds. He paused and looked around the class room for some of his favorite students, looking the sleepy ones in the eyes. “It's OK to be tired when your an intern. We work hard, and keep you going for long hours each day.” A muffled assent arose from the student body. The clock shown 9:18, and while most of the students were awake, a few were definitely not early morning people. “But it's not OK to fall asleep in class.”

After a few more paragraphs, “Feet!” and the students stood up, shaking off the early morning mental cobwebs again. “Seats.” . . . and the lecture resumed. The commands continued, with decreasing frequency, for the first half hour of the two hour class session until the room was alert and attentive.

While this may sound odd to those of us who are never in a physically and academically demanding environment, here is the picture of the alternative from a typical college or university. Students avoid early morning classes. Most s​students won't voluntarily pick classes before 10:00 because it's too hard for them to get going after gaming, talking, or drinking well into the wee hours of the previous morning. Students in a typical 8:00 or 9:00 college class wander in up to 15 minutes late, and as a professor looks around the room, it's not uncommon to see heads down on their desks as students renew friendships with their dreams. Guys are dressed in t-shirts and last nights athletic shorts while girls give themselves permission to pull a sweatshirt on over their favorite sleep-ware.

What a difference between “Average” and “Intentional Excellence.” The Honor Academy is an odd environment for some. If you've experienced a military setting, it may be more familiar. But does it fit in a Christian ministry, and is it suited for young adult interns?

Some say no. Some say this is abusive and authoritarian. Some bloggers have made a campaign of slandering Teen Mania because they didn't have a “good experience” and the environment was too “harsh and authoritative.”

Personally, I think this environment is a good thing for young adults. Too many parents raise their kids as friends rather than parents, expecting that the relationship will keep the kids on the right path. Their kids are never pushed to discover the depth of skill, ability and desire for excellence which God placed deep in their hearts. As a result, we have a generation that believes everyone that competes in an athletic event should get a trophy, and everyone who tries deserves to be rewarded, regardless of their results.

Paul didn't describe following Jesus in these foolish terms. He talked about disciplining his body, so that at the end of the race, he wouldn't be disqualified. Jesus talked about denying yourself, and picking up a personal cross daily as we followed Him. He led his disciples in regular fasting as a way of dis-empowering his flesh to intentionally pursue a closer relationship with his Father. And he called his followers to do and be the same kind of person.

Proverbs says “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, and the rod of correction will drive it from him.” I don't think Solomon was talking about beating and abusing children. His words spell out an expectation that adulthood, and spiritual maturity isn't reached without a level of discipline, correction, setting higher expectations, and experiencing the consequences of our choices. Without someone who says to our young adults “You can do more. You can set and reach higher goals,” the gravitational pull of adolescence is more than they can escape.

And without people like Ron Luce and the Honor Academy who say “Follow me, and I will teach, and insist, that you learn how to reach these goals, the vision often becomes blurred by selfishness, personal preferences.

Personally, I am glad these skills and experiences are being taught somewhere.